Just wanted to clarify a few points from the People Magazine article about Peri in the September 21 issue.
1. Our pregnancy with Peri was planned; although things had been stressful for a while prior to her conception, my then-husband had a job with great potential and things looked like they were finally going to be stable--that's when we became pregnant. A few months later, his company went bankrupt and everything fell apart.
2. Adam Pertman (mentioned in the article) is planning to testify in Peri's case on fraud issues in adoption. I also have two other experts in the adoption world who are helping me in my efforts and with whom I will work to ensure a healthy transition for Peri if I regain custody, as well as ongoing contact between her and her adoptive parents.
3. My ex-husband, Charlie, has no interest in learning the details of the lawsuit (he's a good man, but I believe he is in denial about the whole situation). He does not know (and does not wish to know) the many reasons that made me come to the conclusion that Peri was not in a healthy situation with her adoptive parents and why I believe I have to try to regain custody of her. I have emails from him (from prior to filing the lawsuit) in which he clearly indicates his belief that Susan and Demyn lied to us about their intentions, and in which he encourages me to take legal action because he believed that things were only going to get worse.
I have a website (http://www.BringPeriHome.com) that goes into much more detail on Peri's situation and why I am giving everything I have to try to regain custody of her to ensure her well-being. The website does not currently include numerous concerns I have about the ways in which Susan and Demyn are parenting Peri--it is focused at the moment on the extensive fraud that I believe they committed and the severe ramifications which that fraud and associated issues are likely to have on Peri's life (as well as on her sisters, Alpha and Echo) if Peri continues to be raised by Susan and Demyn.
7 comments:
I wish you good fortune.
"Open adoptions" are not legally enforceable regardless of what the agencies say and most slam shut as soon as the ink is dry. It is just another sales ploy used by a desperate industry.
My heart breaks for you and all mothers who's dreams have been shattered by this lie. I sincerely hope you prevail here and help spread the word about the fallacy of "open adoption." The "Adoption Stories" program would do a REAL service if they had an episode or three about this fraud. No doubt they receive funding from the industry though, so this will never happen.
I'm appalled at what you are going through. It's unbelieveable the lies people will tell to get their hands on someone else's baby. I've seen Potential Adoptive parents actually make comments online "only gotta keep smiling for two more weeks" Once the adoption is finalized, they slam the door and that's just not right
I'm so, so sorry
So sorry that there's yet another delay. I'm also upset that your ex is not more supportive of your efforts. It was he who initially pushed you into giving up your baby in the first place. You are very gracious towards him by describing him as a good man and that you are amicably divorced. You have been betrayed by both the adoptive couple and your own husband. In other words EVERYONE you trusted and depended on at the most vulnerable time in your life.
It goes without saying that the adoptive parents are scumbags. You are the better person for sticking to the issues and not trashing anybody, but please allow me to say that your ex-husband is the scum of the earth also. I am glad for your sake and your daughters' that he is now your EX. Yes, Peri's adoption was the biggest mistake ever, but divorcing that man may be the BEST decision you ever made. You are strong and intelligent and you are a wonderful mother.
I am watching for updates on your case and hope/pray that your daughter will be reunited with you and her sisters very soon.
Stay strong, Rachel
Jimm: I've been appalled at the stories I've heard about open adoptions (and the lack of protections for biological parents and children) since becoming aware of what really happened with Peri's adoption. It's very disturbing. As to Adoption Stories, I agree--I wish they would do another story about what really happened.
Heather: That's just horrible. I can't believe people would actually SAY things like that.
Rachel: Thanks so much for your kind words--I will say that I am very happy I'm divorced and just leave it at that...
All of you--thank you for visiting and for your support--it means so, so much to me.
Carla
Carla,
I used the People magazine for an assignment in one of my college courses.
I, for one, was shocked by your efforts. When you made the decision to give up your second child for adoption, it was a decision that you had the ability to say yes or no; you choose yes. I believe that you are blaming Charlie for the decision that you made.
What you are experiencing is what any parent experiences after placing a child up for adoption; grief.
How are your efforts to regain custody affecting you, your children living with you, Charlie, the adoptive parents, and most importantly Peri?
You placed Peri for adoption, to be raised by another family. Your morals, values, and family structure would never come into play with this adoption. Did you think that the adoptive parents would allow Peri to call you Mommy? Did you really think that you were emotionally stable enough to have visits with Peri, and walk away feeling great about your decision?
I strongly believe that open adoptions interfer with the morals, values, and family structure of the child.
Suck it up, raise your chin high, and get on with your life; leave Peri's alone. If there is ever a time that she would want to know who you are, or why you choose to give her up for adoption; cross that bridge then. For the time being, allow her to have a normal life. What you are doing is only hurting her.
I read the People magazine article and, while I am sorry for you, I think your efforts will only end up hurting this child in the long run and quite likely your other children. You don't really know this kid or how her parents interact with her based on a few hours a year. They HAVE allowed you to see her, just not as frequently as you wanted to or in the way that you wanted to. That is an open adoption. I can't really blame them for pulling back on the visits for you after you took them to court.
I could see your point if you were pushing for more visitation with her based on your feeling that they committed fraud. You might have a decent chance at getting the courts to do that. I think you little to no chance of getting custody of this kid and you are forcing her parents to spend money that probably should be going into her college fund. If you did win, you'd destroy the child. I hope you'll reconsider before you destroy any chance that you'll be able to continue seeing this kid throughout her childhood.
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